This is how the story goes. Almost 2 weeks ago my partner of 3 years and I parted ways. We agreed that living together was not working for us as we have a difference of opinion on how we should raise kids, amongst other things. Fortunately, these are not his kids so the decision was easy. Remove the kids from the equation. He loves them but he doesn’t understand them.
Now, now I know what you’re thinking. No, we did not re-home the kids, but rather I removed them and myself from the home we are currently all sharing. We will be moving into a condo nearby and this will be our homestead until they have grown and moved on. How is this going to work, you ask? I have no clue. Fortunately, they are not young children but rather young adults so we don’t have to wait 20 years for them to leave.
I did a pro’s and con’s list to see what our relationship issues are and I came to the conclusion that my pros list was much longer than the cons, yet the cons were of greater importance. Nevermind the dirty socks on the floor or who’s taking out the garbage, but rather our issues were kids, communication, freedom and finance. All big ones.After discussing the pros and cons list we decided to restructure our relationship by changing one of our big issues immediately, and breaking it down from there. It seems like a logical plan, right? We’ll see. We are also including therapy and self-reflection to our new life styles. Currently, we still live together and will continue to do so until November 01 of this year, but in the meantime we have begun, as best we can, to separate but date each other. As I’m writing this it makes no sense so I can only imagine what you’re all thinking.
Yes, we are living together and dating. I am sleeping on a pull out and our intimate time is really based on the time we spend together as a new couple when getting to know one another. We are going about our relationship backwards but this is what we think will work for us.
We’ve set some ground rules such as not dating other people, limited texting to one another and also not forcing the “couplehood” of our relationship. We’ll have grown up sleep overs but not everyday day or weekend. Our plan is a “pressure free” relationship to figure out what kind of love we have for each other and to permit time for hobbies and passions that we did not pursue while together. No expectations, just finding our way back to each other.
We are very hopeful that this will work but, at the same time we realize that it may not. We’re prepared for both outcomes as difficult as it may be. This is something we want to do our us, for our relationship and our future.
Stay tuned, this could get exciting.